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Musical: Do I Hear A Waltz?
Song: Bargaining
You say you aren’t sure.
You look,
You handle,
You wonder,
You frown.
You dwell on what is poor:
Too big,
Too little,
Too orange,
Too brown
You tell him that you think
You see a crack.
He tells you it is just
The old shellac.
You say you saw a better one
In Rome a week before.
He says that if you did it must
Have cost a thousand more.
You say “too rococo.”
He says “shall I wrap it?”
You: “is it real Venetian?”
He: “I can guarantee it.”
“May I see some other, please?”
“Madam, all we have are these.”
“May I use a check to pay?”
“Madam, anything you say.”
“Will you mend it?”
“We will mend it.”
“Can you send it?”
“We can send it.”
“Will you” “madam”
“Can you” “madam”
“Is it” “madam”
“May I” “madam”
“Let me think it over;
I’ll come back another day.”
You start to leave the shop.
He smiles
He fusses
He opens the door
You start and then you stop
You smile
You ponder
You wander some more
You wander and you wait
And he the same
Whoever waits the most
Will win the game
You wander near the goblet,
Maybe once or maybe twice.
You wait until it’s closing time
And then you ask the price.
You say “how much is it?”
He says “inexpensive.”
You: “what is ‘inexpensive’?”
He: “only venti mille.”
“That is twenty thousand – yes?”
“But for you I’ll make it less.”
“Will you make it uno mille?”
“No I’ll make it dieci mille.”
“Due mille?”
“Dieci mille?”
“Quattro mille.”
“Nove mille?”
“Otto mille.”
“Cinque?” “Otto” “Sette?” Sei.”
“Sei?” “Sei, all right, sei.”
“Let me think it over,
I’ll come back another day.”
You start to leave again.
You go into the street.
And if he follows, then,
That signals his defeat.
And that, you see, is when
The bargaining is done.
You haven’t really saved a single lira,
But you’ve won.
“Won?”
“Won!”
“Won?”
Won!
[Thanks to James Harris for lyrics]
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Do I Hear A Waltz?
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