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Musical: In Trousers
Song: High School Ladies At 5 O'clock/The Rape Of Miss Goldberg By Marvin
High school ladies at 5 o’clock
We be good girls all
Practicing adventures
Of a sort which divert you
But which never ever try to hurt you
High school ladies at 5 o’clock
They sing
la la la la la la la
They sing
la la la la
O how they repetitious
La la la la
Marvel and walk
You see them high school ladies at 5 o’clock
Oh!
Sacrifice the pain
Sacrifice the worry
We been waiting on the street
Underneath the local fire engine
Tap us on the feet and we go for a walk
Just mention high school ladies at 5 o’clock
They sing
la la la la la la la
They sing
la la la la
O how they repetitious
La la la la
Marvel and squawk
We mean us high school ladies at 5 o’clock
Now, Hey!
La la la la lei, etc.
High school!
High school!
Ladies at 5 o’clock
Boys in trouble!
[Repeat]
Does he like the rain?
Oh yes he do
Oh is he better than banana?
Aaaargh!
Does he like the snow?
Oh yes he do!
Oh is he better than banana?
Aaaaargh!
Does he love? No!
Touch? No!
Drink? No!
Screw?! No!
High school ladies at 9 a.m.
We be waiting at the school
We admiring the photograph
Of Marvin on a stage
Turn the page
And look at high school ladies at 5 o’clock
Does he like?
Does he like?
Does he like to screw?
3x
His friend
Does he?
Does he like?
Does he like?
Does he like to screw?
4x
Does he?
The rape of Miss Goldberg by Marvin
Scene 1
Hi Miss Goldberg at your desk
My name’s Marvin
We’re alone at last
I turned 14 just today
And I thought
For a not unseemly price
You’d introduce me to the wonders of the bed
And also treat me nice
I’m the boy who throws the fits
He who puts the chalk inside his ear
Do you know me from a hole in the wall
Marvin’s cute though rarely good
But dearest please accept my hand
Miss Goldberg who
Is perfect womanhood
Scene 2
Why should Marvin jump on Miss Goldberg?
Why does Marvin dump on Miss Goldberg?
I knew when I first looked in his eyes
I like your eyes Miss Goldberg
Eyes
He has never seen my face
I have never seen your eyes
I was never out of place
I taught
That’s true she minded her business
She taught
I taught
And I minded my business
But the business at hand
Keep your hands off my eyes
But the business at hand
Is
Scene 3
I always liked the way you wore you glasses
In and out of classes
I always liked the way you got angry in your glasses
That’s cool Miss Goldberg
I always thought those glasses hid your passion
That’s Miss Goldberg’s fashion
I said
Now it’s my birthday and here’s my surprise
I’m gonna see your eyes Miss Goldberg
I’m gonna see your eyes my darling
Don’t touch my goddamn eyes
You little shit
I’ll throw a fit
I’ll beat your head in with a hammer
Ho ho ho ho
Scene 4
My eyes are my eyes
Your hands are your hands
Just keep your dirty fingers away from my face kid
That’s the only thing Miss Goldberg demands
Now move
Scene 5
Now move!
Listen I’m a bastard plumber with a penis
And I mean us two to be together
Teacher yes I do I do
I mean us two to screw together
Me together
You together
Miss Goldberg
What?
Miss Goldberg
What?
Make Marvin a happy boy!
Scene 6
1234
What does Marvin want with Miss Goldberg?
What does Marvin want from Miss Goldberg?
Miss Goldberg Miss Goldberg Miss Goldberg Miss Goldberg
Please please please
Rub your hands between
Your hands between my knees!
La la la la
What does Marvin want from Miss Goldberg?
Miss Goldberg Miss Goldberg Miss Goldberg Miss Goldberg
Please x8
Scene 7
Marvin always gets the things he wants
Except the things he wants
He gets the things he wants
Marvin always gets the things he wants
Marvin always gets the things he wants
Except the things he wants
He gets the things
Except the things
He gets the things
Except the things
He
D’you want my telephone number?
Curtain
[Thanks to Tabitha J. for lyrics]
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