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Musical: Sister Act
Song: Lady in the Long Black Dress
ONES:
[What's happenin', sister? Yeah, I'm talkin'
to you. My name's Bones. I'm a Libra, a dig
sunsets, strolling on the beach, and loving
my neighbor as myself. And right now,
baby, I'm standing next door to you.]
Picture you and me one
sweet, sweet night
in a pool of votive candlelight.
Just one thing could make the
mood more right –
God droppin' in to sing like
Barry White.
Hey, lady in the long black dress,
let's give you something to confess.
Wo oh oh! Hey lady, take a good long glance.
I ain't no pastor –
I'm a stone cold master of romance!
TJ:
[That ain't no way to get a lady, honky.
Here's how you talk to a sister: ave, baby.
My name's TJ, scorpio. An' lemme quess,
virgo, right? Well put away that rosary,
girl, 'cause I'm here to sweep you off
your knees and take you to a place I like
to call TJ Town. So…]
Loosen up those vestments, just a bit.
Drop that Bible, baby yeah, that's it.
See, I know what all your
vows permit –
and I don't mind keepin' it
immaculate!
TJ/DINERO/BONES:
Hey, lady in the long black dress,
(hey! long black dress)
let's sneak away and go transgress.
(go transgress)
Wo oh oh! (wo, wo)
Hev lady, why not (hey lady, why not)
take a chance? (take a chance?)
Come on, proud Mary,
meet your missionary of romance.
DINERO/TJ/BONES:
Why not lose that veil and
wimple, baby!
Have some sacramental wine!
Let me lay it on ya simple, baby –
BONES:
Sister, you know I gotta…
TJ:
so let me worship at your shrine.
BONES:
And if you got stigmata…
TJ/BONES:
show me yours, I’ll show you mine!
DINERO/TJ/BONES:
Ay, mami, en el vestido
provocativo! (oh wo)
Porque es Cristo tu hombre
exclusivo?
TJ/BONES:
Hey lady, no more won’ts or can’ts!
DINERO:
Soy amoroso!
TJ:
I'm a virtuoso!
BONES:
And lf I'm just so so…
TJ/BONES/DINERO:
… frankly, you won't know, so –
TJ:
sweet lady in the long, black dress!
DINERO:
Sweet lady!
BONES:
Sweet lady!
TJ/BONES/DINERO:
Please tell me what's latin for ‘yes'?
Wo oh oh!
Hey lady, don'tcha look askance!
Come on, say hiya
to your love Messiah
and don't make me try a new advance.
Forget Jehovah,
'cause the wait is ovah.
Come to Casanova
for romance.
BONES:
[Man, we're smoooove!]
TJ:
[No nun can say no to us!]
DINERO:
[Vamos, hermanos! Al convento!]
BONES:
Wo wo baby, baby baby oo
DINERO:
Wo wo wo – oo
TJ:
Wo wo yeah veah yeah
TJ/BONES/DINERO:
Wo wo!
[Thanks to Héctor Moreno for lyrics]
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